Remember how Dil kills what's-her-nuts (hang on, IMDB check) oh yeah, Jude?
When Dil kills Jude, it's the classic end-of-the-other-woman, although it's debatable which qualifies as "other" and which qualifies as "woman"....but let's save that for a minute.
So, Dil kills Jude. Jealousy? Of Fergus? Or of Jude being a lady? Either would've killed t'other, therefore either would've been the castrating female. Here the "phallus" (aka the symbol of power, or that which could have power over Fergus) is the vagina, an inverted phallus, yes, but powerful nonetheless.
Dil's penis is a sybmol of her weakeness--her failing as a woman--back to my "lack of lack" theory. And Jude's overall man-nish, abrasive-y, not-very-nice-ness is her masculine-coded failing as a woman. If she were sweet and bread-and-butter than Fergus would be all about her. Just as if Dil had lady-bits going on down under, Fergus would be chuffed as could be to be with her.
So the phallus here is the vagina, and the castrating woman (ok, not quite mother) is after anything that challenges her own femininity as opposed to that which defines another's masculinity. It is anything that labels her (not another) as masculine that must go, because in the case of trying to get with Fergus, the more masculine the less desirable.
So" lack of a lack" bad. "Lack" good.
D'you ken what I mean?

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